You have insoluble contradictions and claims, because of which they decided to divorce. But are they insoluble?
I lived with a girlfriend for 2 years, and then we diverged because there were accumulated claims. As a steering wheel in our Union, I was more to blame for me: I did not hold the floor, I worked out other stupidity and even found a replacement of my friend. I justified all these mistakes as he could, firmly, that it was not offense at all «and that» so necessary. «
The most interesting thing is that with each misconduct in front of her, its disadvantages became unbearable for me, and the feelings weakened to her (although if not paying attention to it, the connection is invisible).
When a girlfriend gone, I decided to end the excuses and look at the situation honestly: I can’t do without it, and this is my fault that she left. It’s time to fix the situation and do a male. I did not go to psychotherapists and did not «tried to change for the better.» Just slowly restored the relationship: gave flowers, called on dates, did not allow himself too much. It was very and very difficult. But in 9 days we marry.
This whole story helped me understand that insoluble claims and contradictions do not happen. Reasonable people will always find a way out. The only question is, I want to find it or not.
Marriage is the adoption of responsibility for the Union and for building joint happiness despite the difficulties that no one is insured. When two people assumed this responsibility, they easily lay down with small disadvantages of each other. And the fact that they are not satisfied, they are discussing, that is, communicate.
When you want a divorce, in most cases it means that there is no desire to correct anything. Surely such pairs almost do not communicate. And therefore, the claims remain claims and the roots are deeper and deeper.
Imagine the situation, your wife is a creative man. But creative abilities do not mean the absence of sanity. Yes, she does not earn herself. And if I tell you that you have taken over the responsibility for the well-being of a family than your wife, and as a result she came to the conclusion «Yes, I’m so good»? You may remember her attempts (I do not specifically tell the «desire») to earn, and your attempts to prevent this. Let both of the good intentions.
Let you have almost no feeling left. But feelings do not appear by themselves, they are achieved with zealous labor. And it is easier to destroy than to build and save.
You are in the right to independently decide how to do, and I do not dare to point you. I propose only to look at the situation without justification and determine what you did to disperse your union and what they did not make it for its conservation.
Keep in mind that the mistakes allowed in marriage always repeats in subsequent relations. The reason is simple: not wanting to take responsibility, a person and fond of itself. And when there is an excuse, there is no reason to do adequately.
I do not mean that absolutely every marriage should be saved. It all depends on the situation and whether both spouses continue to continue. When two people have different values and the level of intelligence, they are usually unable to create long-term relationships. However, if you lived together for 5-7-10 years (even if everything was not always smooth), it means that you still have something in common.
Apply as your depths of depths, and live decently. I sincerely hope that you will achieve true happiness.